If your going through Hell...Keep on going!

Hahaha... Don't let the title fool ya!

Quick report on my progress before I get to my topic for this week.

I'm still on a roll, I have been to the gym everyday, YES...Everyday. I haven't missed a step. Some days are harder than others, and I cant always see the progress, but overall, I know Im getting healthier and stronger everyday. I still am not getting on that scale! I think the only thing worse than wondering if you are making progress is looking at a dismal (or even a zero) weight loss or even worse a weight gain. I am convinced this time is different. I am eating the way I want to eat for the rest of my days. I am exercising and feeling great (other than being sore) and hope to be in the shape I want soon, and I intend to stay there... so no scale is necessary. I suppose I am somewhere near half way. I have lost quite a bit...People have been noticing alot, My Wife said I dont look Obese anymore, just overweight. That might sound a little harsh but I know from her it was a genuine compliment and honest assessment of my hardwork (Thanks GieGie).

So... As the title reads, If your going through Hell, keep on going! This week I have been thinking alot of all the times I have started losing weight, and just ended up quitting. I am not a quitter...I can stick things out really well usually, why do I quit my weightloss attempts? I can tell you that it has a lot more to do with what is in my head than around my waist. Life is extremely hard, If your reading this blog that isn't any news to you... everyone has there challenges that make life hard. For me, my escape was food. I love it, Still do! It relaxes me when Im down, It soothes me when Im sad, It fixes all sorts of problems for me. As a child I learned to eat when I was happy, sad, celebrating, being reverent, depressed, relaxing, romancing...you name it and food was there. What I didn't realize was, it wasn't an escape it was a trap...a well laid trap. It wasn't fixing the problems it was making me a slave to them and it was killing me.

Going to the gym, walking, staying active, eating right, avoiding pitfalls can seem overwhelming, almost like Hell on earth. But as the line above states...Keep on going! Straight through it... at some point, and I think it is different for different people, you will feel your desires change. You will start understanding why your friend always orders a turkey sandwich for lunch! It's not because they are a boring health conscience freak that likes to rub your nose in your chicken wings... Its because turkey sandwiches taste good. I have started to see the light and am thrilled with the discovery of tastes and textures that I had been missing before from food. I dread some days, getting up and heading to the gym...but what I realize when Im there is that I am exactly where I need to be. A great feeling is when you walk out after a 3+ hour workout and realize you just left it all on the gym floor. It doesnt matter how you do it, Just do it (sorry Nike). And if it feels like Hell from time to time....just keep going, Better days are ahead! I look forward to them and I can see them up ahead.

If you read these posts, let me know. I started writing really to just get things off my chest and have a way to look at trends and progress during this journey. I want to know what my friends think. I want your advice and your feelings about all of this. I intend to share everything I can...even if its embarassing. I know there are many people out there that are like me. You dont feel like you fit into the mold! You arent going on TV or hiring and expensive trainer to turn you into a kickboxer. You are just an average person doing your best and you need answers. I think the more we share, the more we will know. I hope this reaches someone so badly.

I lost my Mom way too early in life from complications of obesity, some times it angers me that she isn't here for me or my kids (and Family). I know it wasnt her fault, she didnt know she could extend her life...but it is a huge hole in me. I have other members of my family and friends who I dont want to lose this way. I know they had times where they felt the same about me. We need to save each other through small and meaningful little things that show how much we love each other. Nobody can do this with people pointing fingers and judging...but they can when those fingers are stretched from a helping hand, an understanding one, a friend.

Talk to ya soon!