I will never be the same person I was yesterday, The real concern is who I will be tomorrow? A better or worse version of myself?
I think its most everyone's goal to be a better self. Sometimes we succeed and some times we fall short of success. I think the real strength of character is in the effort. I have had a tough week, I threw out my back while playing around in my new physical condition (somewhere between morbidly obese and in shape). I then proceeded to "work through the pain" and worked out hard for a week after, until well.... I couldn't move! I finally hobbled into my doctor that immediately pointed out to me that I had done some pretty severe nerve damage (more than likely not permanent) and I needed to be in bed with my new friend the ICE PACK.
This meant no GYM. Ha, you might be saying... Sweet, you didn't have to go to the gym last week. This was not my feeling at all. My week was tortured with discouraging thoughts, guilt, frustration, even panic at times because I was losing precious time! I have a goal and I have to reach it! Not to mention my poor sweet wife took on all of my chores and responsibility and took care of me (Just adding to the already steep pile of things I will eternally owe her for). I couldn't believe how much I missed my workout. Then just yesterday I got to go back on a limited basis... uuugh, frustrating! I felt like I didn't belong there, my friends that I nod to, and my regular routine wasn't at all there. I was reeling with discouragement. But I couldn't let that derail my train.
This morning I went back with a new determination, the topic of today's post. I can't do anything about the time I lost. I cant change history! but I can change how I looked at today. I believe this to be true in every facet of my life. I have done things that I haven't been to proud of (not forgetting I have done some great things too). Weighing 409lbs. comes immediately to mind. I have struggled with things like I am sure all of you have too. We can always learn from the past...but the real important you, is what YOU will become. I am talking on this post a lot about FAT. It is a big part of my goal, but not all of it. I want to live my life with more choices. I don't want the widow maker to take me until I have done all the things I want to do. I don't want my children to raise there kids without me (I am anxious to get paybacks!). I want to choose whether to get on a ride at Disney Land or not (not have someone choose for me because the safety latch wont shut). I want to choose between the Grilled shrimp and scallops or the Chicken mongollian BBQ with brown rice (not have my habitual Bacon double cheeseburger with garlic butter fries).
So who will I be today?
I got back into the GYM this morning, I nodded and waved to everyone I knew ( I need that sense of belonging...I'm not sure why yet), some friends talked to me briefly and welcomed me back with a smile. I set out to work hard (as hard as I could nursing a very sore back) and I did.
Today I was a better version of myself, I am hoping tomorrow I will be even better.
Talk to you soon.
The title of this BLOG needs some explaining. I'm fat. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! I'm talking about scales and measurements of all types. I threw them away and yes,I threw away that DAMN bathroom scale. You know the one,tells you that you lost 10lbs one week, and then gain 13lbs the next, eating celery and laying in a puddle of sweat and diet cola. Listen...It's working, stay with me and share my journey.
Regrets and spending your life wishing you could change the past has always been a funny concept for me, it seems to me like wishing you could change things only creates more time you wish you could go back and change things, for example, I wish I had gone out and played with my kids today instead of sitting there thinking about how I wish I could have gone back to yesterday and played with my kids. The only thing we have the option to change is the future, and it sounds like you know this and are on the right path.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work, and listen to your body. Doesn't makes sense to injury yourself when you body tells you to stop, you just end up missing more time then if you had taken it easy.
I believe in you soon to be little guy.
PS, garlic butter fries sound amazing and i am not cursing you for putting this idea into my brain.
"Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourself -- to choose the way . . . " I love choices, too. And isn't it funny that some of the things that feel so restrictive can really lead to more choices than we would have had otherwise? Great post! Thanks.
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