The psychology of a fat guy

How is that for a title?

Actually today's post is a pretty serious one, and I want to give fair warning of that fact.

The reason for writing the following is to acknowledge that changing your diet and exercising is only part of living healthy. The psychology of your body changing isn't the whole thing either...for me, it's dealing with the reason I gained all of the weight anyway. It's all very complicated and requires (at least for me) at least if not more work than the other facets of healthy living. I have a hard time expressing it, that is probably evident in the fact that I haven't written much about it so far... but I'm writing some today and I have promised myself that I will write more. It is essential for my success and I believe it will be for yours too.

Abuse

Ugly word isn't it. I have read quite a few studies on the psychology of abuse (I'm not saying in anyway that I am any kind of expert). Physical abuse is a horrible epidemic in our society. spouses, parents, siblings, friends and others, use physical intimidation and pain to establish their version of control over you. This type of abuse as well as many other forms, leave the victim with lasting scars long after the cuts and bruises heal. In fact that is my topic. The lasting psychological effect
of emotional abuse. It goes right along with all of the other forms of abuse ...and sometimes it exists on its own. I have been a victim of abuse in my life in many different types, situations and forms. I know many, many people that have also had to experience abuses in their life. It helps me with my belief that just about everyone has or is dealing with abuse in their life, and yet as a society we still don't seem to handle it well at all.

Consider the following scenario:

Someone close to you, your spouse, your child, a dear friend is in a relationship where they are being abused. Eventually they mustered up the courage to tell you, despite the psychological warfare of their abuser. They may love there abuser and not want anything to happen to them, they may be fearful of a threat, or even the self imposed threats of telling their secret. Likely, they don't feel they are worth your trouble. Somehow they believe that they deserve the abuse, or that it is just their lot in life to
endure. This is seriously common in victims of abuse. This is not just for the considered "weak", In fact the stronger the person, the more likely they are to convince themselves of these (ill)facts and they go into survival mode and dig in their heels.

For this scenario, lets imagine that you just found out about this persons predicament. What would you do? When? Why?

If you are like me you are saying...I don't have to think! I will put an end to it no matter what it takes. Sound like your answer? Easy to say when you see cuts and bruises, or maybe your loved one has confided all the details to you. If you are like me, you are angry and ACTION IS IMMINENT. But here is the ugly side. It's going on all around us! In all of its forms, and we are doing nothing. As I mentioned above and I'm sure you will agree that emotional abuse or the emotional side of the other forms of abuse is the longest lasting and the hardest to cure. So why is it that we turn a blind eye to the people we love that are in emotional distress? or maybe a better question is...why do we let their abusers continue? It may not look like a black eye or a busted lip...but inside it looks a lot worse. I personally believe that anyone who has been told continually that they are not good enough, or held back, or ignored, or cursed at, or have been told that ridiculous things are their fault and blamed for the sake of someones selfish version of control over them is inexcusable and needs to be stopped! It wont be comfortable, It may not be popular, but it's right.

I get that this subject is a lot more complicated and difficult than what I have written above. I don't pretend to have any of the answers, I'm working through these things just like many of you are. I just can't see it being ignored anymore in my life. I am surrounding myself with only the best people. People who are mutually beneficially, people that contribute to my well being and I for them, People who are doing there best to become better versions of themselves and not comfortable in dragging others down to make themselves feel better.

I know my desire for overall health has increased once I realized that I am worth it, I do deserve it, I want to know, I care and surprise! so do others, I do matter, and the people who love me will support me in removing myself from the presence of my abusers!

I know these topics are difficult to read...They are hard to write too. I know all of our trails are different in life, but I have found in my life that we all have trials so we at least have that in common. If I had a wish, It would be that all of the people who are emotionally abusing to stop it now, The people being abused to have the courage and support they need to get out from under the pain, and for all of us to be more coherent and compassionate in how we interact with each other. If you or someone you love is being emotionally abused... do something today, It will do an unbelievable amount of damage if ignored, and getting fat might be the least of your worries.

I will leave you to ponder.
Talk to you soon!